Result - 24/11/2012

It is well and truly squeaky bum time in the Palace of the Ginger Prince as his two game lead was slashed to just one by a resurgent Killawatt on Saturday evening. Not just that but the regal pretender was unceremoniously dumped out in 7th with only Bottleneck to break his fall!!!

This looks like a job for the Superman Bomb!!!

1. Killawatt
2. Thunderfunk
3. Dino the Vino
4. The Gentleman
5. Wee Rambo
6. Petawatt
7. GingaRadge
8. Bottleneck

With a screaming little miracle due to thunk into a bucket in the new year (© Bill Hicks), this was billed as the last game ever scheduled to take place at the Rare Books Arena. Patrons didn't appear too perturbed, in this age of retiral's and comebacks (Hatton, Schumacher, Jordan, Streisand), a withdrawal of service usually isn't worth the Nexus it's typed on. Nonetheless a backup venue was immediately sought with Wee Rambo announcing he'd be more than happy to create a clearing in his jungle for some caird battles next season. Naming rights still available.

With an eye on marking the end of the Rare Books era, the Bomb Bros ensured proceedings would go swimmingly by supplying ingredients and receptacles for the latest Bombz. The evening was kicked off for the non-drivers with the newly devised Superman Bomb (see above pic). This led us directly into the first hand as one Bomb too many was poured, meaning the victor in the 1st hand would get the spare and be two whole Bombz to the good before the start of the second hand. Bombtastic!!!

Combining my skinflint tendencies and my alcohol problems, I was swiftly installed as favourite for that first hand and took it down with a minimum of fuss. Might be an idea to pretend there is drink for the victor of all hands from now on.

The soon to be mothballed Rare Books Arena

Sounding an early warning of things to come Killawatt drew first blood by eliminating the host with a full house on the flop in the last hand before the break. Bottleneck's big slick took a right hiding before stating to your blogger to note in the match report that "Bottleneck is unhappy with his luck". This is about as apeshit as I've seen him get.

The curse of the best hand soon did for the GingaRadge too. Looking good with two big dirty Kings against Dunderfunk's 10-10 his disgust was evident when a third 10 appeared. His Power Rangers, toy car and favourite teddy bear were slung across the table and Petawatt had to fetch the tissue while the rest of us cleared up his discarded toys.

While Gingle Berries cooled off on the naughty step Petawatt exited in 6th with a KJ against The Doctors KK. Poker fate wasn't as cruel to the Dr's Kings and the game was sad to see an unusually alert Petawatt join the casualty list. It was pointed out that this blog has historically been harsh on my closest wooden spoon contender, for that I do not apologise. All ire is earned, any praise is usually an oversight.

A particularly ugly threesome then took place between Killawatt, Wee Rambo and The Man with No Nickname. The latter was chip boss, Killawatt was all -in and in deep trouble whilst Wee Rambo put bravery before cowardice and shoved nobly. Killawatt had the best hand taking the side pot and getting a big double up, which wouldn't be the last time on the night. This left Wee Rambo against Dunderfunk in the main pot with WR being sucked out by a low kicker, Dunderfunk having "forgot about the side pot aspect".

So all of a sudden I was in the top four, not quite playing the game of my life, but almost enjoying the cairds for once. It wasn't to last. An A4 prompted The Gentleman to push all-in, Killawatt (not a gentleman) raised with an A5, but was gazumped by The Doctor with an AK and forced to fold, as you'd expect, wittering on about what the Dr should have done. Knocking me out and winning the hand obviously not good enough for the Hairy Oracle.

Dunderfunk, looking to put himself out having overran his pass, got busy with 89 clubs and met Killawatt in pocket Cowboys mode. Hitting a flush on the turn left Killa needing a 2, 5, 7, K or club to knock out the Dunderfunk, he missed and suddenly we had a big chip leader.

With three players left there was now a run of big clashes. Dunderfunk trying to go home, The Doctor waiting on good cards and Killawatt in amongst it probably playing the best poker.

Dunderfunk 66 v Killa AK all-in - AK both came, big double up

With the blinds now at 500/1000 The Doctor went out in third, Dunderfunk still trying to go home moving in with 34 suited hit a 4 v The Doctor's A9 suited and Dr Consistency was no more.

Dunderfunk soon had Killa all in with a Q9 against J7, but nobody hit a thing and Killa again had a big double up. Soon they were locking horns again. Killa emerged victorious with another big double up as his 44 turned into a straight against J3. Soon Killa's 44 tripped to overcome a JJ this time leaving the former Blouse floundering badly. But he was right back in it when an A7 was far too good for A4.

While such a ding dong is exciting in most sports, the vanquished spectators were beginning to bore somewhat. Another factor, with your scribe about 6 Bombs and 3 cans into the evening, not forgetting the sundry impediments to lucidity, all this was becoming quite difficult to accurately or legibly document and I was relieved when a conclusion was finally reached. Killawatt's A5 was all over Dunderfunk's 10-5 and the money was staying in the Cuik!!!!

Au revoir to Le Rare Books Arena. Can the GingaPrince hold on for another title, although he is no stranger to a last day crash and burn either? Will Killawatt retain his crown? Will The Doctor be able to have a final say in matters? More importantly, who will 'win' the widden spin???

President's Re-election - PP$ Implications

Bang

As the results of the US election emerged it became clear that the PP$ would have to wait at least another four years before President Damage could take leave from his Capitol Hill duties and return to the Penicuik Poker big time for good.

A win for the lizard-in-a-suit challenger, Titt Robme would have allowed President Damage to leave the storm battered nation and return home after being forced to move there following his shock election victory over Sarah Palin four years ago.

A Washington insider said "the President's general hatred of everything kept him ahead in the hate polls. He showed levels of hatred and intolerance the Republicans could only dream of. Add to that the bucketloads of sarcasm he dishes out, the God botherers didn't stand a chance".

One former teacher remarked "he was a right obstreporous wee bugger at school and wouldn't let anyone stand in his way, I always knew he'd never let anyone block his path to the world's top job, Mrs McGregor tried it once and he laid her out cold, after that we just gave him A's and smiled".

Championship Table

The Gentleman's position (geddit?)

The Doctor moves up one place at the expense of Sea Cock and Killawatt after his latest victory now giving GingaRadge a third reason to keep looking over his shoulder as he pursues the trophy. Despite appearances to the contrary, the Doctor's record of six top-two finishes in 11 games suggests either he is indeed a canny player, or alternatively the rest of us just canny play. I speak at least for myself in this last respect. However it has been noted that my prescription at the beginning of Heids-up in the last game that he should down his Bomb forthwith to help increase either his chances of winning or negation of pain in the case of a defeat quite spectacularly propelled him to the 'W'.

Conversely to The Doctor, Petawatt, a seeming paragon of clever consistency at the table finds himself languishing winless and too close to the wooden spoon for comfort. Indeed, if anyone beats me to the wooden spoon after the form and luck I've unbeknowingly inflicted upon myself, they'll have to seriously consider their future in cairds altogether.

Half Plus One = 7

Gingle Berries                       12    4    3    3    145   12.083
Dr Doctor                              11    2    4    1    128   11.636
Killawatt                                 12    2    0    0    127   10.583
Sea Cock                                8     2    0    0     83    10.375
Wee Rambo                           10    1    1    0    106   10.600
Bottleneck                               11    1    1    4     70     6.364
Petawatt                                  13    0    2    0    138   10.615
The One True Gentleman      12    0    2    2     93     7.750

Next game is scheduled for the Rare Books Arena on Saturday 24th November I do believe. Sadly this will most likely be the last game at aforementioned venue due to previous nocturnal shenanigans (purely a euphemism, activities may well have been during daylight).

Saturday 27th October - Result

Dr Victorious

1. The Gynaecologist
2. Ginga Radge
3. Wee Rambo
4. Sea Cock
5. Killawatt
6. Petawatt
7. The One True Gentleman
8. Bottleneck

Apologies: The Damage (Eastern Seaboard), Hurricane Andy (Eastern Seaboard), L.I.Am (In the studio), The Prof (almost totally retired).

As the end of the season and the exalted Championship Game loom into sight, playaz begin to get a bit twitchy around this time of year. With the publication of an up to date Championship Table before the game all manner of permutations swill around inside the mostly empty bonce's of the PP$ massive.

When an inanimate plastic button just won't do

The Raj of Gingia finds himself atop the 2012 rankings and within sight of a first championship for between 2-7 years (stats office is closed on a Sunday as I write this, if indeed you can classify this as writing). It is often said she holds only a Plan A (a rather decent Plan A, but one single plan nonetheless) and her stats bear this out somewhat. After this game she has now played 12 games and finished 1st, 2nd or last in 10 of them. A high risk strategy that might pay off in poker, but maybe think twice about getting in this dude's motor should you have designs on ultimately reaching your destination.

Early excitement was provided with the introduction of an all-singing, all-dancing new dealer chip, see photo.

Whilst all players survived until after the break (The Baptist & The Prof not in attendance & Ginga Radge not getting a good enough all-in hand til post-munchies) it was Bottleneck who was out the traps early accumulating the first decent chipstack. Famous from Cornbank to Reno for not having an endgame, this didn't concern many at the table and not long after saying he was yet to hear a Savile joke, then being bombarded by some, he was, metaphorically at least, like Sir Jimmy, lying six feet under in an unmarked grave.

The One True Gentleman, who is vying with Bottleneck for the wooden spoon, continued on his teary run of form.  The very next hand after Bottleneck's demise the former Raiser was all-in with 77 and up against two players with aces. Being ahead at this stage, just like being behind at this stage means The Gentleman is going to lose. Another Ace appeared and I finished 3rd in a hand I was leading when I pushed. Christ even I'm bored stupid with my hard luck stories now.

The next hand saw a Watt-off. Brunette Watt, on a granny shoved all-in behind a 78 whilst Blonde Watt had to back his AQ. The former hit both his cards whilst dodging either of the latter's. While I may be bored stupid with my own hard luck stories, YET AGAIN, WHY THE HELL CAN'T I HOLD UP OR GET LUCKY LIKE THIS, EVER, never mind from behind like Brunette Watt here??? Drives me mad.

With consecutive hands knocking out Bottleneck, then The Gentleman, then Killawatt surviving an all-in, just two hands later it was Petawatt's turn to seek the exit. His AQ v Ginga Radge's AQ looked OK until the Radge hit his flush on the river. It really was Deathsville!!!

Killawatt soon got a taste of what it's like to be The Gentleman shoving his stack behind 88. Sea Cock fancied a K4 for some reason, hit his K and the Watt clan lay slain on the field of battle.

By now, just like a couple of games ago, the Ginga Prince had sat patiently with rubbish cards all night before now beginning to hit hand after hand and building a chip empire to match. His overall lead came when his 33 held up against a flush chasin Dr with A9.

Sea Cock, who is trying to get a new nickname with a sweary word in it past the censors of this blog (me) left the game in 4th place. Forced into action with an A6, the A-10 of the new chip leader beat him up good.

This left two potential winners and a patsy in the shapes of Ginga Radge, Wee Rambo & The Doctor of Doodling. Wee Rambo, not working at 4am, left the game in 3rd place after his KQ met a 67 and the flop came 10-9-8 making it cash on the table time.

Championship Leader Gingle Berries was massive favourite at this point with 15,200 chips to the Doctor's 1600. Unfortunately I forget what the blinds were. But it didn't look good for the Doctor who until now, rather unusually, had managed to avoid hoying all his chips in behind cock-all on a mad whim. No doubt this would happen soon.

Heads up Spab Boy action

Spectators were soon diving for cover as the wheels spectacularly began falling off of the Flame Haired bandwagon. First The Doctor hit a higher straight to double up. Then all-in with AJ he met a AK but hit a J (again, I refer you back to my years of bad luck, this does not happen to The One True Gentlemen, thank goodness for all of us I never go on about it). Then the Doctor had 10-10 and found himself against 6-6 and tripped a 10. The Championship Leader was floundering badly by now. Even when he scrambled some chips back and the overall stacks were even enough, the psychological game was done and dusted and it only seemed a matter of time until his ultimate demise. It came when his 55 found The Doctor holding AQ suited. An A duly arrived, the game was over and an unlikely win fell into the lap of The Gynaecologist. Any delusions that he played well or worse, 'deserved' the win can be easily countered by referring back to his AJ v AK win. Loocky, loocky bastid!!!!