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| I'm no happy!!! |
2. The One True Gentleman of Poker
3. Killawatt
4. Petawatt
5. The Bonfire
6. The Doctor
7. Sea Cock
Apologies: Duncbucket (wife borrowing the trousers), Bottleneck (wife borrowing the trousers), Wee Rambo (wife borrowing the trousers).
Warning: As there has been a lack of action and therefore a paucity of blog posting, I'm taking the opportunity to sploosh an extended textual assault herein!!! Subsequently this report contains more bad beat whinging than usual as I'm really being pushed to the point of detonation.
I actually can't remember now off the top of my head how long my interminable luck has been going on. My last win was two years ago and it had been going on a lot longer than that. I ignored it for a couple of years as, ultimately, I don't believe in luck, the common phrase 'you make your own luck' sufficing. Of course, touting this as a mantra and then whining that my luck is terrible doesn't quite tie together. In a bid to tackle the issue head on I invited and indulged in long discussions garnering opinions in a bid to tighten up my game, plus, honing a couple of things of my own volition. These changes were/are:
Eradicate bluffs (not saying never, sometimes as much as once a game, but when did I last show dross?)
Only play good cards (as the later online link shows, I play the full range of profitable hands)
Stop mid-hand trash talk in hands your involved in. (While not convinced by this one, I seemed to attract far too many calls and apparently this was probably a reason, even though I'd get called whether I blethered or not and still do get called far more often than is sensible, despite YEARS of cutting it out).
I have stuck to this, ABSOLUTELY. I have even changed my poker name to include the word 'gentleman' (referring to my consistent card behaviour only) and at nearly every opportunity I screech to all and sundry at the table that I'm not bluffing, I have cards and I'm betting true.
The One True Gentleman of Poker does not lie about his cards!!!!
I have minimised errors and the only further tweak of improvement I can see is the occasional missed opportunity through erring on the side of caution once the minimum bet in a pot has escalated (e.g. deep into a hand, a big pot, big stakes and maybe holding a busted straight draw or Q-hi against a big raise). My only crime here is not winning absolutely every single hand that is winnable. Show me who does that. Also note, that in a situation where I may have AQ v AK and most people might be able to reraise the AK out of the pot and win with the lesser hand (AQ), I nearly always get a caller anyway, the marginally better keek hand takes it and I take another harsh kick in the stanes. If they don't think I'm bluffing, which they usually do, they know that even if I have them dominated, they'll probably hit their 5% outshot anyway.
I must also point out that this has in no way made me a timid player, the best evidence being the description of the first hand a bit later. And yet, for some reason I'm still called and raised by draw chasing jokers, usually with only one live card that then appears, much to my amazement, perplexion and frustration.
For instance this last Saturday a K-9 trounced my K-10 plummeting me from chip leader, where I'd been for a couple of hours since the first hand, to nearly out (having raised it in the first place) in just one hand. The game before that, my A-K succumbed to a K-10 to knock me out and so on. My point, is that on the one hand I'm not making any mistakes at all in defence and on the other hand I'm not getting beat on say A-10 v QQ or that sort of typical poker coin flip, but getting beaten from miles ahead every single game. Coin flips are part and parcel and inevitable. Not a single problem with that. Just the seemingly incessant shaftings.
Now for the match report, but don't worry, there is more bad beat whinging to come. With screaming little miracles thunking into buckets all over the parish, we were lower on numbers than in recent times and began Game 2 of the seasons with 7 lusty fellows.
First hand I get dealt A-3 of clubs and first to act I pot raise (small pot). Of course I get called, by, as it turns out a Q-7 of clubs in the hand of Sea Cock (2nd to act, already been pot-raised and the last three champions plus the winner of the last game still to act). The flop is 2-4-8 and includes two clubs (I can't actually recall for sure the last card of that flop, but it's exact number isn't relevant). I'm on a flush draw and a straight draw with an A as back up. Two cards to come. I pot raise. Again it's called. The turn is another club giving us both flushes, me the nuts. I pot raise again (a non-gentleman may check here, but, as I keep saying, I'm not like that). I'm then pot re-raised all-in (first hand remember) and am at a loss as to what is going on. It's first hand, have I overlooked something? Why, when I bleat on and on about not talking BS and always having cards am I being pot re-raised all -in first hand when I have the nuts? Obviously I call, knock him out and double up. Sea Cock seems to have been influenced by the table chatter to which I was oblivious, which supposed I must have had a high starting pair due to my betting pattern and the common assumption that I was 'at it'. My head shakes.
To my increasing incredulity, already agog someone would pot re-raise all-in after being pot raised twice without the nuts (even a K would have done me) I was then collectively scolded, led by The Sage, that betting/raising with A-suited, effectively on a draw, is a bluff and therefore ungentlemanly. I must put my reposte down in pixel. Indeed those cards are in the weakest bracket of 'good' cards. They are however just one rung below His favoured dalliances with suited connectors, not to mention being ahead of His favourite K-9, a hand that should, like all hands worse than A-suited, usually lose you money!!!
Quoting from this very good online summation of Hold 'em, it says on Suited Aces, "If you don't hit a draw on the flop (or better yet the nuts), you should be done with these hands".
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| I'll keep calm if you make it stop |
Until about last November, I wasn't just getting shocking luck, I was getting shocking cards too. However this has definitely changed recently and in all fairness, overall I'd say my cards have been above average. This of course is nice, appreciated and helps a lot (up to the point of my bad beats). Well, after a first hand double up, soon after the poker gods decided I needed the first AA of the evening as well. While they held up I could already tell that this evening was going to fall into one of two categories. Either the type of night where your play is irrelevant and you get good cards most of the night and put nearly everyone out personally and win with little effort. Or, the sort of night where you get all your good hands early. Unfortunately from my point of view I suspected the latter.
As I had been bullied into being chip leader from the very first hand, the old guard immediately set about destabilising my unbelievable level of jiggerycardery by plucking rule changes out of the air in a blatant bid to upset my gentlemanly conduct. As any fule kno, if numbers permit, Omaha and/or Draw until the break or until someone goes out. On a whim and flying in the face of established PP$ tradition, this rule was flung out mid-game as we suddenly introduced Draw after the Sea Cock's exit. The Gentleman didn't make a fuss.
After Captain Birdseye's early exit, and with only 7 amounts of starting chips, the game remained very stable until well after the break. Inevitably the run of poor cards or the odd loose flutter began to drain the prospects of two or three bodies. The Bonfire couldnt find one card in the hole, never mind two. To his right The Doctor was finding it difficult to find any room to manoeuvre As they slipped under a grand, to the Dr's right, Killawatt had to dirty box for his poker life now and again buying a few here and holding up there. Petawatt was in MOR mode as per, trying never to stray too far from his starting chips in his inevitable quest for a mid-placed finish. A slowish start with nary a pair of ducks, for the GingaPrince kept him safe enough whilst I'd maintained my stack at more or less the early double-up level to lead throughout.
With a general lack of craziness we were kept entertained by Petawatt's double spabdeal followed by another spabdeal the next time it came to him, although there was general disappointment he didn't make it a double double spabdeal and create PP$ history. There's always next time.
As the cost of playing began to bite, The Doctor was first to find too good to fold cardage. A GingaRadge raise, called by Killa allowed him to push the last of his pennies into the pot, at which point a reluctant Prince of Gingia left the hand. K-Killawatt turned over a K-K which stayed in front and Dino the Vino was a Nono. GingaPrince revealed he'd mucked an A-2 suited.
The Doctor's fellow flatliner soon became Bonfire of the Profanities (too contrived, I agree, I flinched at that one myself?). Due to in-game imbibification, it is known I take notes. The writing is none too legible and that those notes have now been through the old washing machine, means I cannot record here the Bonfires ejector cards. However I can relay in the Cluedo style that it was GingRadge, with a 7-7, in the Living Room.
My arch wooden spoon nemesis, the snoringly reliable Petawatt now found himself in the last 4 of a 7 player game. Statistically speaking he was going to be 4th or 3rd as he habitually bleeds out at or just above half way. As his chipstack stopped resembling a stack of any description, he found himself all in, pinning his match hopes on a peely wally 10-8, against the other 'Watt. His Royal Smugness delightfully showed his bullets and the Fur Warrior recoiled. Then a 10 came on the flop and he rebounded. Then an A came too and the empty cutting pain and hollow freezing bitterness returned (I know how you feel).
So there are three left, me, and the two players I've told everyone in no uncertain terms, not to let win. Pathetic. And don't think for a second I was in with a chance. Should you be in any doubt that my travails are anything other than bad luck, I am more than willing to recommence at length at any point. More bad luck to follow anyhoo.
Actually, forgot about the hand that knocked me off being chip leader into dangerous waters and doubled up the ever pesky Killawatt. As usual I was miles ahead, dominating like I was Celtic in the SPL. I had K-10 whilst he was left looking foolish with his K-9. And what happens. Of course, the 9 came. Pah. No way to treat a gentleman.
So, down to three players and the two former champs are miles ahead in chips while I'm just trying to not lose all my blinds every round and stay in until one of them knocked the other out (or I hit good cards of course). It was massive battles galore as Gingle Berries and Killawatt went into psychotic bullying mode as befitted their respective chip stacks. I could only hope that one would slay the other soon enough leaving me heads up and thats what transpired when the GingaPrince finally smoted (?) Killawatt. It went something like this; Killa/Ginga first to act, pot raises, everyone else folds. Every second or third of these smallcockoff's the other would reraise and after that happened a couple of times, one of them went out. Killawatt with K-4 hit a K whilst the GinjaNinja hit a 10 to turn his 10-10 into Ninja Trips!!!! While a great name for that hand, it actually reminded me of the time he caused himself a bit of an injury back in the old school days when he may or may not have tripped off the roof of a parked vehicle while indeed impersonating a Ninja. Would have made a great caption for the photo if we'd managed to capture that moment for posterity.
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| ...berries |
