Saturday 27th October - Result

Dr Victorious

1. The Gynaecologist
2. Ginga Radge
3. Wee Rambo
4. Sea Cock
5. Killawatt
6. Petawatt
7. The One True Gentleman
8. Bottleneck

Apologies: The Damage (Eastern Seaboard), Hurricane Andy (Eastern Seaboard), L.I.Am (In the studio), The Prof (almost totally retired).

As the end of the season and the exalted Championship Game loom into sight, playaz begin to get a bit twitchy around this time of year. With the publication of an up to date Championship Table before the game all manner of permutations swill around inside the mostly empty bonce's of the PP$ massive.

When an inanimate plastic button just won't do

The Raj of Gingia finds himself atop the 2012 rankings and within sight of a first championship for between 2-7 years (stats office is closed on a Sunday as I write this, if indeed you can classify this as writing). It is often said she holds only a Plan A (a rather decent Plan A, but one single plan nonetheless) and her stats bear this out somewhat. After this game she has now played 12 games and finished 1st, 2nd or last in 10 of them. A high risk strategy that might pay off in poker, but maybe think twice about getting in this dude's motor should you have designs on ultimately reaching your destination.

Early excitement was provided with the introduction of an all-singing, all-dancing new dealer chip, see photo.

Whilst all players survived until after the break (The Baptist & The Prof not in attendance & Ginga Radge not getting a good enough all-in hand til post-munchies) it was Bottleneck who was out the traps early accumulating the first decent chipstack. Famous from Cornbank to Reno for not having an endgame, this didn't concern many at the table and not long after saying he was yet to hear a Savile joke, then being bombarded by some, he was, metaphorically at least, like Sir Jimmy, lying six feet under in an unmarked grave.

The One True Gentleman, who is vying with Bottleneck for the wooden spoon, continued on his teary run of form.  The very next hand after Bottleneck's demise the former Raiser was all-in with 77 and up against two players with aces. Being ahead at this stage, just like being behind at this stage means The Gentleman is going to lose. Another Ace appeared and I finished 3rd in a hand I was leading when I pushed. Christ even I'm bored stupid with my hard luck stories now.

The next hand saw a Watt-off. Brunette Watt, on a granny shoved all-in behind a 78 whilst Blonde Watt had to back his AQ. The former hit both his cards whilst dodging either of the latter's. While I may be bored stupid with my own hard luck stories, YET AGAIN, WHY THE HELL CAN'T I HOLD UP OR GET LUCKY LIKE THIS, EVER, never mind from behind like Brunette Watt here??? Drives me mad.

With consecutive hands knocking out Bottleneck, then The Gentleman, then Killawatt surviving an all-in, just two hands later it was Petawatt's turn to seek the exit. His AQ v Ginga Radge's AQ looked OK until the Radge hit his flush on the river. It really was Deathsville!!!

Killawatt soon got a taste of what it's like to be The Gentleman shoving his stack behind 88. Sea Cock fancied a K4 for some reason, hit his K and the Watt clan lay slain on the field of battle.

By now, just like a couple of games ago, the Ginga Prince had sat patiently with rubbish cards all night before now beginning to hit hand after hand and building a chip empire to match. His overall lead came when his 33 held up against a flush chasin Dr with A9.

Sea Cock, who is trying to get a new nickname with a sweary word in it past the censors of this blog (me) left the game in 4th place. Forced into action with an A6, the A-10 of the new chip leader beat him up good.

This left two potential winners and a patsy in the shapes of Ginga Radge, Wee Rambo & The Doctor of Doodling. Wee Rambo, not working at 4am, left the game in 3rd place after his KQ met a 67 and the flop came 10-9-8 making it cash on the table time.

Championship Leader Gingle Berries was massive favourite at this point with 15,200 chips to the Doctor's 1600. Unfortunately I forget what the blinds were. But it didn't look good for the Doctor who until now, rather unusually, had managed to avoid hoying all his chips in behind cock-all on a mad whim. No doubt this would happen soon.

Heads up Spab Boy action

Spectators were soon diving for cover as the wheels spectacularly began falling off of the Flame Haired bandwagon. First The Doctor hit a higher straight to double up. Then all-in with AJ he met a AK but hit a J (again, I refer you back to my years of bad luck, this does not happen to The One True Gentlemen, thank goodness for all of us I never go on about it). Then the Doctor had 10-10 and found himself against 6-6 and tripped a 10. The Championship Leader was floundering badly by now. Even when he scrambled some chips back and the overall stacks were even enough, the psychological game was done and dusted and it only seemed a matter of time until his ultimate demise. It came when his 55 found The Doctor holding AQ suited. An A duly arrived, the game was over and an unlikely win fell into the lap of The Gynaecologist. Any delusions that he played well or worse, 'deserved' the win can be easily countered by referring back to his AJ v AK win. Loocky, loocky bastid!!!!

Bombs

The vessels

Aye, what are these bombs I've been hearing about man?

BOOM BANG-A-BANG, da bombs are the latest craze to sweep Kev's Colosseum. Want to learn more, read on...

One day, a dude called Petawatt bought some Red Bull and a bottle of Jagermeister. He combined these two substances into one magic potion called a Jagerbomb. Known in Germany as a Turbojager or a Flying Stag while the Finns are a bit more descriptive calling it Battery Acid.

This potent mix soon became a means for poker players to enhance their performances flying in the face of conventional wisdom.

Simple mathematics

But Killawatt yearned for more. One day, after a near two decade hiatus, he once again began sniffing around the parental drinks cabinet and was rewarded with some Kahlua, Cointreau, some Disaronno and a toffee liqueur from the Canary Islands. He then complemented these weapons with some red bull. A couple of 'bomb glasses' also entered his possession. His guns were now loaded!!!

Accompanied by The Raiser, they got tucked in like the don't-know-when-to-stop-Scots they are!!!

Next stop after the JagerBomb was a Skittle Bomb. This is also known in parts of Asia as a C-Bomb. It has now established itself as Killawatts favourite bomb. In the midst of a SkittleBomb afterjudder, The Raiser conceived the idea for a BucksFizzBomb. The bomb that writes itself. Cointreau in the middle, Champers round the outside. Champagne was duly purchased for the very next session.

This idea marked Phase 2 in Bomb development. Firstly it was the first invented bomb in the Killa/Raiser armoury, but it also put alcohol in the inner AND outer bomb components. Ya dancer!!!

Any mixer will do

It became apparent to participants - Petawatt was usually still involved after some regulation brotherly peer pressure - that two flimsy bomb glasses just weren't enough. The internet was duly scoured until suitably enhanced receptacles were identified. At this point the new art of Bomb drinking pretty much exploded. Bang!!!

More alcohol made its way into the glitzy new collection. Never before considered substances such as Limoncello and Cherry Brandy were mixed with all manner of energy drinks with scant flavour information and names generally unconnected to anything a sensible person should consume (Relentless, Monster, P***y, etc).

Understandably, the true evolution of our Bombs is a little hazy. As pioneers breaking new ground, we have scaled some delicious heights and shuddered and juddered below some truly disastrous combinations (toffee & lemon or the more controversial marzipan & champagne). So I've decided to list below the successes and shall leave you to experiment however you like with these Bombs being a great starting point.

A third of the price of the real stuff

JagerBomb
Inside: 1 shot of Jagermeister
Outside: Red Bull or equivalent (i.e. KX Energy drink)
Description: Not as bad as you may fear, especially if you were brought up on the industrial tastes of Aftershock, Tequila or Sambuca. A nice hit usually followed by a shudder or two.
Rating: 5/5

SkittleBomb
Inside: 1 shot of Cointreau
Outside: Red Bull or equivalent
Description: The Cointreau is 40% and packs an equivalent punch, but the Skittle aftertaste does enough. Although you've definitely had a drink, the lingering sweetie effect is very pleasant
Rating 5/5

DoubleLollyBomb
Inside: 1 shot if Disaronno or Amaretto
Outside: KX Red Berry
Description: The shot is marzipan/almond and when it mixes with the berry drink the leftover taste is very similar to Double Lollies. The Raisers favourite. Unfortunately the shot is only around 22% leading to accusations from Skittle Bomb afficionado's that it's not all it could be. Means I just have to have twice as many!!!
Rating: 5/5

BucksFizzBomb
Inside: 1 shot of Cointreau
Outside: Champagne or fizzy plonk equivalent
Description: This is the posh one, based on the Bucks Fizz (fresh orange juice in Champagne), its the true Rolls Royce of Bombs. Great for kicking off special occasions and any other occasion too. Don't forget, it has the blow-yer-socks-off ability as it's got alcohol in both compartments. Boom!!!
Rating: 5/5

KahToffeeBomb
Inside: Toffee liqueur
Outside: Kahlua, not as much as you'd normally pour for a mixer
Description: Another double strength BoomBomb, this wee bastirt packs an unsuspecting punch generating a hot afterjudder. Tastes lovely then Blam, you're three post bomb shudders in, loving it and saying 'ooh, dunno if I want another one of those'!!!!
Rating: 5/5



TropiToffeeBomb
Inside: Toffee Liqueur
Outside: KX Tropical
Description: Booyakasha, it turns out it IS the toffee that packs the hot slap, but it's nicely curtailed with a Lilt-esque tropical energy drink courtesy of the local Tesco. This would be the business on a hot beach somewhere, even though it has only so far been road tested durung our sodden summer.
Rating: 5/5

LemonCherryBerryBomb
Inside: Cherry Brandy & Limoncello
Outside: KX Red Berry
Description: Another borderline alcoholic innovation from Da Bomb Bros, this time two alcohols are mixed in the middle and complemented with the berry outer ring. It might be fruit-tastic, but it passes the Killawatt test of being "not too much like real fruit". Refreshing and rewrites Rule 1 of drinking - DO mix your drinks!!!
Rating: 5/5