Result - Saturday 11th May

The Ginger Prince

Regular readers will be relieved to know that I have absolutely nothing to complain about this week. Down to the last three of an 8 player game, with just 2.5x my starting chips and supremely fortunate to be the first player hit for the big blind when it leapt from 1k/2k to 2k/4k I stupidly committed with a piddly wee AJ which was obviously far too pathetically weak to contest the QJ of Gingle Berries. The Q came on the flop of course, propelling Auburn Audrey up to chip leader. No complaints at all from me. Obviously.

Next hand the game was over when the Prince of Gingia's 10-6 smashed down Wee Rambo's Q-5 giving the former his second victory of the season and the outright lead in the 2013 (yet to be published) overall table. Two hands, two jammy draws, job done. Just one thing, er, when is it my turn fokkers?

1. Gingle Berries
2. Wee Rambo
3. The One True Gentleman of Poker
4. The Baptist
5. Petawatt
6. Sea Cock
7. Dunderblouse
8. Overthehillawatt

Apologies: The Gynaecologist (Wedding drinking), Bottleneck (Whereabouts unknown), The Bonfire (part-timer) The Damage (New world), Ricketts (rickets).

Earlier on, Wee Rambo had become the first recipient of bullets, ensuring they held up with a pre-flop bulldoze. Around this he was able to build up large piles of chips probably resulting in chip dominance for around the first half of the contest. This was eventually dented when Sea Cock cuckolded him into an unwanted call that doubled up the ever dangerous resident of Gilmerton. GingaStinga also benefitted from some bullets whilst shittest player in attendance, The One True Gentleman of Poker managed 'put down of the night' taking a while to muck his raised KJ which was then re-raised by Killawatt's KQ.

With all bodies making it to the munchy break (where munch of the year so far, some choco-raspo-fudge concoction was supplied by Mrs I.Am), certain chip stacks were diminishing whilst the likes of Wee Rambo and Dunderblouse (brushing off Fritzl/Castro aspersions) made the best of the early running.

Last place was occupied by fallen champion Killawatt, but, without any shame as he raised hard with his pocket 3's. Unable to shake off Wee Rambo behind AJ, the J on the flop put paid to the host.

With an eye on the clock, pacemaker Dunderfunk began to edge towards the trapdoor. Finding a 6-6 he pretty much demanded I called, which I had to with my AK. But an equally homeward bound Sea Cock was still to act and decided to have a punt with J-10. At exactly this moment, in poker heaven, the toast popped, the phone rang, the doorbell went and there was a noise in the back garden all at the same time, conveniently distracting the poker gods who've so had it in for me for so long. This allowed a K to arrive enhancing my already leading cairds, giving me a mega treble-up. Dunderfunk was on the tram back to Auld Reekie and Captain Birdseye was gasping for oxygen.

Sea Cock's demise soon rocked up in the form of AQ. Finding himself up against 4-2 (Wee Rambo) and A6 (Petawatt), a side pot was formed. The side pot was taken by Wee Rambo and Petawatt snaffled the main one. Sea Cock was oot which disappointed Gingastinga in particular as it meant both of his lifts home had expired.

Petawatt was dancing to his usual routine being bled down to loose change and even as far as 'a chip n a chair' territory. The crunch came as inevitably as it does forcing him in behind an 8-4 off suit. The Baptist scalped him, at the same time ensuring a first ever top half finish for himself.

But this was far enough for the Baptist. Having manfully accepted a run of beats whilst holding stuff like AQ, his exit came after his A3 was defeated by Wee Rambo's extremely ungentlemanly J2 with a flopped Jack. Then we were down to three players, incongruous blinds, regulation luck/form and back to the top of the report.