Result - Date a bit foggy

1st & 2nd keep it real

1. Killawatt
2. The One True Gentleman
3. The Doctor
4. Funkin Donut
5. GingaRadge
6. The Baptist
7. Petawatt
8. Wee Rambo

Apologies: The Damage (destroyed), The Bonfire (deflamed), Bottleneck (demobbed).

Spotted rubbing himself against a new moped in the street just moments before the game, Wee Rambo's mind appeared to be elsewhere for this match. The Baptist took care of him early in an over/under full hoose showdown, but unfortunately missed the opportunity to enact his moniker.

With decades of top half finishes under his belt, Petawatt finally went on the attack early (as in, before he absolutely has to) and suffered fatally when his larger bro produced a K6 to sprinkle some tinkle all over the former's Q6.

The Baptist sashayed his way into 6th after coming up against a resurrected Dunderfunk who'd come back from the deid more than once. An incredulous crowd watched on as The Baptist turned a 10-2 which actually wasn't too bad against The Donut's Q3.

5th went to Championship pacesetter, the indigenous Scot and one time flanker, Mr Prince of Gingia. Going blind against Dunderfunk's QJ, he turned over an A5, but the cairds only brought a 5 after the Q's had paired and he was on the poker buroo.

The term 'Andylanche' was coined at this juncture to describe the destruction foisted upon PP$'rs by the resurgent Corstorphinite. With four players left and no ill luck to yet complain about, let me begin now.

On the one hand, the exit of Dunderfunk in 4th was good for your inward-looking scribe, but the path to his exit doubled up both my remaining opponents, the canny Killawatt and er, The Doctor. However those two fought each other as I cowered meekly in a corner. With The Doc all-in, his J9 couldnt overcome Killa's A5. Nowt came. Then there were two.

Then something extraordinary happened!!! I doubled up from behind!!!! Quite remarkable!!!!!

Twisny to last though. Those chortlesome Poker God's were soon up to their old ways tricking me all-in with 66. Smugawatt had no choice with a 10-10 and I'm surprised we even flopped the deck to confirm my latest  penniless demise.

Result - 24/11/2012

It is well and truly squeaky bum time in the Palace of the Ginger Prince as his two game lead was slashed to just one by a resurgent Killawatt on Saturday evening. Not just that but the regal pretender was unceremoniously dumped out in 7th with only Bottleneck to break his fall!!!

This looks like a job for the Superman Bomb!!!

1. Killawatt
2. Thunderfunk
3. Dino the Vino
4. The Gentleman
5. Wee Rambo
6. Petawatt
7. GingaRadge
8. Bottleneck

With a screaming little miracle due to thunk into a bucket in the new year (© Bill Hicks), this was billed as the last game ever scheduled to take place at the Rare Books Arena. Patrons didn't appear too perturbed, in this age of retiral's and comebacks (Hatton, Schumacher, Jordan, Streisand), a withdrawal of service usually isn't worth the Nexus it's typed on. Nonetheless a backup venue was immediately sought with Wee Rambo announcing he'd be more than happy to create a clearing in his jungle for some caird battles next season. Naming rights still available.

With an eye on marking the end of the Rare Books era, the Bomb Bros ensured proceedings would go swimmingly by supplying ingredients and receptacles for the latest Bombz. The evening was kicked off for the non-drivers with the newly devised Superman Bomb (see above pic). This led us directly into the first hand as one Bomb too many was poured, meaning the victor in the 1st hand would get the spare and be two whole Bombz to the good before the start of the second hand. Bombtastic!!!

Combining my skinflint tendencies and my alcohol problems, I was swiftly installed as favourite for that first hand and took it down with a minimum of fuss. Might be an idea to pretend there is drink for the victor of all hands from now on.

The soon to be mothballed Rare Books Arena

Sounding an early warning of things to come Killawatt drew first blood by eliminating the host with a full house on the flop in the last hand before the break. Bottleneck's big slick took a right hiding before stating to your blogger to note in the match report that "Bottleneck is unhappy with his luck". This is about as apeshit as I've seen him get.

The curse of the best hand soon did for the GingaRadge too. Looking good with two big dirty Kings against Dunderfunk's 10-10 his disgust was evident when a third 10 appeared. His Power Rangers, toy car and favourite teddy bear were slung across the table and Petawatt had to fetch the tissue while the rest of us cleared up his discarded toys.

While Gingle Berries cooled off on the naughty step Petawatt exited in 6th with a KJ against The Doctors KK. Poker fate wasn't as cruel to the Dr's Kings and the game was sad to see an unusually alert Petawatt join the casualty list. It was pointed out that this blog has historically been harsh on my closest wooden spoon contender, for that I do not apologise. All ire is earned, any praise is usually an oversight.

A particularly ugly threesome then took place between Killawatt, Wee Rambo and The Man with No Nickname. The latter was chip boss, Killawatt was all -in and in deep trouble whilst Wee Rambo put bravery before cowardice and shoved nobly. Killawatt had the best hand taking the side pot and getting a big double up, which wouldn't be the last time on the night. This left Wee Rambo against Dunderfunk in the main pot with WR being sucked out by a low kicker, Dunderfunk having "forgot about the side pot aspect".

So all of a sudden I was in the top four, not quite playing the game of my life, but almost enjoying the cairds for once. It wasn't to last. An A4 prompted The Gentleman to push all-in, Killawatt (not a gentleman) raised with an A5, but was gazumped by The Doctor with an AK and forced to fold, as you'd expect, wittering on about what the Dr should have done. Knocking me out and winning the hand obviously not good enough for the Hairy Oracle.

Dunderfunk, looking to put himself out having overran his pass, got busy with 89 clubs and met Killawatt in pocket Cowboys mode. Hitting a flush on the turn left Killa needing a 2, 5, 7, K or club to knock out the Dunderfunk, he missed and suddenly we had a big chip leader.

With three players left there was now a run of big clashes. Dunderfunk trying to go home, The Doctor waiting on good cards and Killawatt in amongst it probably playing the best poker.

Dunderfunk 66 v Killa AK all-in - AK both came, big double up

With the blinds now at 500/1000 The Doctor went out in third, Dunderfunk still trying to go home moving in with 34 suited hit a 4 v The Doctor's A9 suited and Dr Consistency was no more.

Dunderfunk soon had Killa all in with a Q9 against J7, but nobody hit a thing and Killa again had a big double up. Soon they were locking horns again. Killa emerged victorious with another big double up as his 44 turned into a straight against J3. Soon Killa's 44 tripped to overcome a JJ this time leaving the former Blouse floundering badly. But he was right back in it when an A7 was far too good for A4.

While such a ding dong is exciting in most sports, the vanquished spectators were beginning to bore somewhat. Another factor, with your scribe about 6 Bombs and 3 cans into the evening, not forgetting the sundry impediments to lucidity, all this was becoming quite difficult to accurately or legibly document and I was relieved when a conclusion was finally reached. Killawatt's A5 was all over Dunderfunk's 10-5 and the money was staying in the Cuik!!!!

Au revoir to Le Rare Books Arena. Can the GingaPrince hold on for another title, although he is no stranger to a last day crash and burn either? Will Killawatt retain his crown? Will The Doctor be able to have a final say in matters? More importantly, who will 'win' the widden spin???

23/06/2012 - Result

Give someone else a chance ya greedy bas

1. Killawatt
2. The Doctor
3. The Raiser
4. GingaStinga
5. Petawatt
6. Bottleneck
7. Sea Cock
8. The Man with No Blouse

Apologies - The Damage (playing with over-sized garden toys), The Professor (has been disbanded), Wee Rambo (Beers were too cold).

Bottleneck was first to be dealt bullets and wet himself as Ol' Sea Cock declared the first all-in of the evening. But this duel ended all square as they played the board.

Omaha (or is that Oklahomaha) accounted for the first exit when Dunderfunk dunderfunked it up with 888 v the GingaStinga's KKK (racist twat). He left the arena £5 & two Wire boxed sets lighter which lifted my mood considerably.

Sea Cock, in the yelly jersey, fell off his bike next after being rammed by Killa, back riding on his lucky poker moped. It was one of those moments you especially love to be put out as your opponent reluctantly calls saying "I don't want to", but they fffffffffffffffffffffffffeckin well do anyway!!!!! A9 hearts was in the sailors hand and he was delighted to be up against K-10 also of hearts, but The PP$ Behemoth's luck is right back on track, a 10 showed up (remember this moment for later) and Ol' Sea Cock was up a creek without a paddle.

Bottleneck, whose game has gone backwards since victory earlier in the season could only manage 6th place. The first two players out are notorious for being under the thumb and needing to be home by 10pm, but the host had no such excuses with Madame away. In fairness, another tight one as his KQ off suit was beaten by The Doctor's K-10 suited, again, a dirty 10 popping up to do the damage.

Gentleman Petawatt, slipped out in 5th, a terrible finish by his usual standards. The Doctor had smugly hit a straight on the flop but came under attack from a man requiring running clubs to make his flush. One club arrived, but not the second.

With four players left, the Ginga Prince and The Raiser became entangled with QQ & 22 in a hand that flattened the formers evening. An AQ suited allowed him to get all his chips in v Killa, but a QQ is very nice in that situation, and that's what he had, and that's what ended Gingle Berries participation.

I'd managed to lose a couple of hands from ahead and not call from behind when I would have won the hand more than once and had been chided to start playing with rubbish. With just shy of 17,000 chips on the table I raised Killa's big, was re-raised and decided to put all my 5,700 behind a 10-8 off suit. I should have known I was doomed either way, the big hairy fairy turned over A8 and I was going to have to be a right ungentlemanly mofo to come back and claim that hand. I know I don't need to remind you that the 10 was being hit from behind earlier in the evening and I especially don't need to hark back a couple of games to when I had Wee Rambo trussed up like a fatted calf four times, twice in exactly this scenario only to be defiled in the most evil of ways. Since I don't need to remind you of this, I won't. Killa then told me 10-8 off suit was, quite obviously, far too good. One day, the penny shall drop I'm sure.

The Doctor with the yo-yo form was all that stood betwixt the reigning champ and the money. Earlier in the evening he'd been entertaining us with his famous party trick of going all the way in a massive hand with absolutely nothing, then realising at the showdown he'd had the nuts all along. How we love that one. The first heads up flash point arrived with the Doc all in with an A9 v Killa's A-3. Still wasn't good enough and resulted in a split pot. Then the crunch came, Killa held K2 and The Doc went in with 97. By the time a 9 came, The Champ had already hit a K, then went on to ram home his victory by pairing the 2 too!!!

When will Bottleneck get an end game? When will Pete get nasty? Which Doctor shall turn up next time? Will the author finally win and stop harping on about not being good enough bad beats? Find out next time at (TBA).

Latest Table

Killa on a recent trip to Vegas

Despite being four games into the new season and having four different winners, the top of table already has a depressingly familiar look to it.

Half +1 is currently 3 games meaning that the two tailgunners at the foot of the table are included out of charity. I'll shave off under-attenders in a month or two as the standings really hot up. However H+1 will remain at 3 after the next game therefore possibly allowing Thunderfunk officially back into things should he be able to attend.

As we're still at an early stage, a single victory for anyone could make a massive shift in standings. Example: The Professor returns for the next game, wins and goes top with an ave of 20.000. Stranger things have happened (The Pussy Doctor has won an Annual Championship after all).


                                      P    W    2nd   L    Pts    Ave
Killawatt                        4      1      0     0     49    12.250
Bottleneck                     3      1      0     1     34     11.333
GingaPrince                   4      1      1     1     40     10.000
Wee Rambo                  4      1      0     0     27      6.750
The Raiser                     4      0      2     1     45     11.250
Petawatt                        4      0      0     0     45     11.250
The Gynaecologist         3      0      1     0     33     11.000
Sea Cock                      1      0      0     0      5       5.000
Daddy Dunkbucket        2     0      0     1      9       4.500

Feel free to keep an eye on your totals and double check my sums. If I get anything wrong I'll update it asap.

Saturday 31st March

Kev at the 2007 WSoP

Modifications to original text in yelly.

Killawatt stormed back into Championship contention last night at the Rare Books Arena. A rollicking performance in the face of stern opposition had his worldwide fan base on their feet whooping in adoration as he squeezed the last chips from the only remaining challenger, your humble scribe, to chalk up his first victory in the 2012 competition.

As the blinds increased to 2,000/4,000, Killawatt held about 3.5x the big blind while The Raiser had the big blind + 100. All-in was immediately reached and the Champ's A-10 held up against The Raisers 9-3 suited.

For Killawatt it ends three matches without a victory whilst its another case of what might have been for The Raiser who brought his A-game for the second match in a row. Unfortunately, when it does surface, it seldom hangs around and normal mid-table service will probably soon resume for the Peni-Hellmuth.

By this point Aces Duncan sporting an unlucky and overall pretty uninspiring new blouse had long since vacated. Playing cards of incredible looseness (politest way I can think to put it) he barely lasted seconds as he chucked half his chips at Bottleneck with a middling flush (J-high) whilst the host held Q-high.(the A was on the board). Unperturbed, soon after when The Raiser checked his AA and was pot raised by the in-a-hurry Corstorphinite, a pot re-raise wasn't enough to stop Thunderfunk piling all his chips behind an A9 off-suit. The silence around the table was broken only when a small voice tried to offer support mentioning that three 9's would help him, three 9's dialled on the phone maybe!!!

Seemingly unable to stay in the match if nobody is shouting at him to stay in the match, Willie WarmBeer (aka Wee Rambo) soon followed. In a hand of potential mass carnage involving;

Wee Rambo enraged at bad beat

Wee Rambo - AJ suited
Bottleneck - KQ suited
Killawatt - AQ offsuit
GingaStinga - AK offsuit

...the latter pair managed to extricate themselves from the impending bloodbath after raises & re-raises from the first pair (after much high pitched whining of course). Such a major move so early blew up in the fizog of the fearless Mini-Stallone and he was left fiddling menacingly with his weapons in an all too familiar early exit position.

The next victim of the cairds in 6th place was GingaRadge at the end of a noticeably more subdued performance than normal. While he ended up all-in with A4 v Bottleneck also with A4, the hosts cairds were suited and as the river came, life imitated art as GingaStinga pleaded with the poker gods not to end it like this.

Not like this...

It was reminiscent to this observer of the scene in The Matrix when Cypher pulls the plug on Switch as she pleadingly mutters "not like this". The cairds were brutal, the river brought a flush for Bobbybawbag and in a rebel ship somewhere deep within the earth's crust The Ginga Prince's lifeless corpse slumped to the floor (ok, the last bit might not have happened). Then there were five.

Eat this Turner!!!

Those not in attendance on the night should now prepare to hold their sides as they may soon begin to split. Those who did attend are surely already pi$$ing their pants once more. The Doctor, the exalted Brain of the table, the wisest of the lot almost knocked himself unconscious on a howfing great big lump of ignominy that suddenly appeared over his supersonic cranium. Having endured a round of checking, The Doctor made a tidy raise. Petawatt folded, Killawatt folded, The Raiser folded. The Doctor, jumping to the conclusion that the hand was over reached for the pot and declared the table to be populated by a "bunch of pussies". But Bottleneck was still in and didn't need a Poker A-Z to interpret that little snippet of info. The Doctor held Q8 with the 8 being top pair. Bottleneck trumped this with an A8 and the pussies could hardly contain themselves as the 2010 champion exited the game in 5th. Toot toot!!!

To this point Petawatt had been unleashing his new style on the PP$. Not content to solidly reach 2nd or 3rd place before bleeding dry, some (almost) aggressive betting had propelled him into contention. On the button he called with 5-5, Killawatt folded the small and The Raiser was delighted to be allowed to see the flop with his 2-3 offsuit. When the flop came down 3-3-10, The Raiser naturally checked, The Fur Warrior raised, The Raiser re-raised Petawatt all-in (leaving myself a single chip) and was most pleased when Petawatt called it. The last two cards were dud and two bad moves in one hand ended the Petawatts participation.

Killawatt had spent a while skirting around all-in territory but was handed a value chance v Bottleneck when he called in a troublesome spot against a raise that offered Killa enough value to call, his top pair held up (against heehaw) and his double-up was effectively fatal for the Bottlenecks chances. Soon after Killawatt reluctantly turned off Bottlenecks life support when he called the Bottlenecks K-3 with a 9-2 suited and the flop brought a flush for Mr I-know-the-odds-but-never-seem-to-get-shafted-by-them.

It's still too soon to tell if Bottleneck has lost his endgame after its single appearance- watch this space.
Then it was heads-up which lasted a wee while before the timer and the blinds brought down the final curtain. Four games, four winners, table to follow later in the week.

1. Killawatt
2. The Raiser
3. Bottleneck
4. PETAwatt
5. The Doctor
6. Ginga Prince
7. Wee Rambo
8. Dunkin Donut

Apologies: The Damage (teleporter still on the blink), The Professor (better things to do than donate a fiver to Kev), Sea Cock (unable to break through Gilmerton front line).

2011 - Final Table

Killawatt leading the Final Table!!!

Points of note:

• Absolutely no change in positions from the last table although Da Blouse only just managed, by finishing 8th, to hold off The Raiser who would have moved up from 5th to 3rd with a win instead of a RU spot.
• Bottleneck finished 4th on the Points Table, 5th in the Averages Table but only 7th where it matters most!!!
• After compiling the penultimate table, I chucked out the 'results sheet'. Therefore I can't include a runners-up/heads-up column as requested by GingaStinga. I'll include it for 2012 onwards.
• 17 games played, 17 wins in the win column. This confirms Wee Rambo did win a game. It may have been a 5-player and may not have felt like a full-on PP$ is all I can say to your claims not to have won a game. I'm absolutely positive you did. If I wasn't your win column would say 0 quicker than it takes GingaStinga to pot re-raise with a middling pair.
• If The Prof had played one more game, the race for the wooden spoon with The Doc would have been interesting.
• If the table was sorted by average points, GingaStinga would have finished second last.
• The Doctor goes from Hero to Zero.

                              P     W     L    Pts    Ave

Killawatt                 17     9     2     260    15.294
Petawatt                 15     2     0     195    13.000
GingaStinga             9     2     3      78      8.667
Da Blouse                9     1     0      93     10.33
The Raiser              16     1     2    164    10.25
The Buoy                  9     1     2     81     9.000
Bottleneck               15     0     2    136    9.067
The Doctor              14     0     2     80     5.714

Wee Rambo           4     1     2     22    5.500
Beef Razor             1     0     0     10    10.000
The Damage           1     0     0      8      8.000
Nico                        1     0     0      8      8.000
The Professor        8     0     2     45     5.625
Liam                      1     0     1     0      0.000

2011 Championship Game Result

A 'fool array' of PP$ talent was on display with a capacity turnout at the C&FW Services Ltd Colosseum (formerly Kev's Colosseum) on Saturday night. The hostess ran away with it again pocketing two trophies and the top prize of 100 golden shekels. Result:

Kevin (Smith) & the Trophy (wife)

1. Killawatt
2. The Raiser
3. Bottleneck
4. Petawatt
5. The Buoy
6. GingaStinga
7. The Professor
8. Da Blouse
9. The Doctor
10. Wee Rambo

Before the hostilities commenced

The match started on time at 20.45ish. With little room to manoeuvre both physically and metaphorically, the early period of the game elapsed without too much in the way of excitement. There was little room to bluff with ten sharks present and the first raiser with decent cards tended to take it down. Petawatt did inject a flurry of excitement when he won two hands in a row with KoJak. Not content with such a subtle enhancement of the evening, he then proceeded to pour two 'shots' of JagerBomb, for, I have just realised, the players that subsequently finished 1st & 2nd!!! Having scaled back the measures on complaint from the recipients to a more sensible level, Petawatt proceeded to make himself a pint of the stuff. One to watch.

An early pattern surfaced when it emerged that three or four players weren't in a position to play too long into the Sabbath. One of this faction, Wee Rambo uncovered this truth going hard at Da Blouse with decent cards, Da Blouse puffing 'ach well, I'll get brownie points if I go home now' and calling. This signalled the warning that some players were already in different gears. The breaching of Wee Rambo's hull took place at this point and he began to sink slowly and inexorably towards the bottom and tenth place. Behaviouralists are showing concern with Wee Rambo. After bursting onto the PP$ scene with impeccable cards and chat, his fragile confidence deflates at the first sign of anything these days. Chin up squire, when you're at rock bottom, there's only one direction left to travel!!!

2010 Champion, Dr 'Doc' The Doctor was ecstatic at Wee Rambo's departure. Habitually keeping Last Place warm for the bulk of 2011, it now meant that 2nd Last was his for the taking and take it he did after the Munchy Break when he took part in an 'All-in frenzy' involving Bottleneck, GingaStinga & Megawatt (if memory serves correctly).  J-J wasn't enough in that bitchfight. The Doctor duly retreated to shuffling and dealing duties. The gentleman of the table for sure. Chin up squire, when you're at rock bottom, there's only one direction left to travel!!!!

Is there an echo in here or somefink?

The Bonnie Princess over the water

During the break PP$ Founding member The Damage appeared through the ether from Merca (c) G.W.Bush, to hover wistfully at the table for a short period, holding what looked suspiciously like a Baby. So there was some talk of pacifiers and daipers before Daddys Little Princess commenced defecating, spewing and demanding food, hastening his spectral departure.

Back in Cairdsville, Midlothian, Petawatt initially built a decent pile of 50's to take the early lead. In time they seeped elsewhere in the table, then Killawatt began to steadily accumulate some phallic stacks. This meant there still wasn't much loose change sloshing about and it soon began to tell as chipstacks generally dwindled and big decisions began to be made automatically.

Next out was Da Blouse (claiming to be giving the blouse a final public display before torching it. Hopefully his next blouse is also a blouse and not a shirt or we may well be calling another meeting of the New Nickname Committee which has recently been rather overworked. Hopefully we can get some photo's of the arson here with him burning his blouse (geddit?)). Seasoned observers felt little sympathy as his King-hi straight met Killa's Ace-hi straight. Andy Andy'd!!! One of the truly great sentences.

The Professor, just missing out on a coveted Annual Table League Position by coming up one attendance short took his leave in 7th place, another victim of the Bridge Street Butcher. A-2 was OK pre-flop, but a J-high flop helped Killawatt's J-7 and The Prof was sausages.

Doubledeath next when GingaStinga (Q-7) & The Buoy (K-10) piled the last of their chips into a pot. The Butcher of Bridge Street (K-J) swithered, before his macabre lust for blood hastened his participation. His cleaver fell sickeningly on the necks of two more victims, The Buoy finishing 5th due to having more chips to donate in the hand. And then there were 4.

Baubles & Bawbees were now placed on the table to strike dismay into the heart of the next man out. Killa/Butcher/Hostess/Champion Elect was by now barely visible behind his (/her?) ill gotten gains meaning a  pathetic scratching about by the remaining poker paupers. Petawatt (Q-Q) had little choice but to dive in against The Raiser holding a somewhat ironic K-J which apologetically came from behind to dump Petawatt out in the harshest position in such a big money game. At least solace could be sought that his bloodthirsty sibling hadn't dealt the final blow.

This left Bottleneck with about 1200-1800, The Raiser 3000-3500 and Killawatt the rest (c16k). Bottleneck couldnt last long, the by now infamous lack of an EndGame being sweetened a little with 20 cybershekels in compensation as he exited with 8-9 which hit nothing against Killa's J-7 which Andy'd itself into a Full Hoose.

Roll up, roll up for the biggest game of the year

Heads up was a Neo v Manuel mash-up scenario with me as your friendly spanish waiter (que???). First hand, me Big with J-3 got pot re-raised & folded. Next hand I folded 10-3 on the Small, Killa not even having to look at his cards which forced me into an 'all-in blind' next hand versus a 'call blind' from Keanu. The Raisers 9-7 turned into 2pair, 9-9-7-7, but this was royally soiled by KingKilla's A-8 which made like Hunter S Thompson and got all trippy on me.

In summation, a Killawatt victory was both deserved and apt. I shall add the Final Table in due course, but as from now, we're all level again and I suspect 2012 is finally going to be my year.

We usually get another game organised before the end of Jan to kick off the new league campaign, so if the Rare Books Arena & Kev's Colosseum (naming rights purchased for one game only) staff can meet for a Facilities Committee Meeting asap to get something organised, hopefully I'll see most of you again soon.



Apologies: The Damage (Joined the Preisthood), Nico (probably back in France), Liam (Still hurting), Ricketts (Missing Presumed Dead), Callous Callis (On the run), BeefRazor (Eating pizza), Paul (Still barred).

Saturday 19th November 2011

Venue - Kev's Colossuem

Winner - Killawatt
2nd - Megawatt
3rd - The Raiser
4th - Nico
5th - The Doctor
Wooden Spoon - Bottleneck

Apologies: Ginga Radge (Pyjama Party), The Damage (Continentally Challenged), Da Blouse (M.I.A.), Milroy (Hot Date), The Professor (Fed up losing Fivers?), Wee Rambo (Bad Attitude).

Bottleneck produced a willing fivergiver in the form of Nico, an apparent newcomer to the Great Game. With a Hand Ranking scrawled upon a post-it and the usual impeccable standard of advice from various regulars in either fluent French (The Doctor/Bottleneck) or remedially slow and over-pronounced English (The Raiser/Killawatt), the newbie quickly acclimatised establishing a very conservative game.

Bottleneck fell first straight after the munchy break, continuing his gentlemanly insistence on allowing others to win. The Doctor was next to hit the baize chin-first after an earlier previous attempt to go all-in and crash out (against Megawatt's 9-9-9-9) which was scuppered when the latter mis-bet in a four of a kind panic.

Our nouveau French friend rolled over in 4th place, it goes without saying that it's a great result in our shark pit. By this time Megawatt had built up a bit of a chip lead, Killawatt had fluctuated a bit without being able to assert his championship authority, although it was around now The Raiser's chip stack began to build with a rough chip share of 50%-25%-25% (Raiser-Watt-Watt).

The Raiser shall now indulge himself!!!

Killawatt, after expertly managing to put down Q-10 with a 10-4-4 flop v The Raiser earlier (who held and raised A-10), a pot re-raise by The Raiser allowed him to re-raise with A-K, all-in for about 3,800. The Raiser could cover it and keep 300 in defeat or put out The Unputoutable One!!! The Raiser called with 10-10 dreading that the Killa had a higher pair, instead, it was a 'Classic Texas Hold 'em Coin Flip'. The Unputoutable One suddenly doubled up, The Raiser left clinging onto 3x100 chips.

Next hand The Raiser was BB, which was 600, so all-in again. This time a 3-4 off suit which 'held up', doubling up His Grumpiness to BB level.

Next hand The Dealer deals The Raiser 9-9 and he's all-in, third hand in a row. Megawatt raises all-in with gash (might have had an A) and Killawatt calls with a feckin 10-10 (see 2 hands ago), which feckin holds up. And that was that!!!