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| Unused Bomb Beakers betray the non-attenders |
Petawatt took the Championship Lead after the first game of the season at Kev's Colosseum on Saturday night. But before the cards, some outstanding issues were discussed.
Throughout the season, situations arise that occasionally require a consensus. Also, any suggested changes to game practice can be saved up for discussion and a vote at the end of the season. In an attempt to head off any more shambolic discussions mid-game (as had happened in the previous game), a valiant attempt was made to agree on some proposed rule changes/clarifications before the new season kicked off. However this just seemed to bring the nonsense forward. With the majority of the PP$ in attendance, and an odd number at that, making this a perfect time to vote, even the staging of a vote without 100% attendance somehow became a bone of contention for Killawatt. Apparently he'd rather wait until players who had "forgot" the game was even on could 'remember' to attend.
Two votes were finally held.
Firstly, what happens when a dealer makes a total baws-up (the situation that nearly destroyed and lengthily delayed the 2013 Championship decider)? Should it be a redeal, or some other remedy? The most recent example was a Dealer not dealing someone a hand. One of our suggested solutions was to give the player without a hand the next two cards in the deck and play on. I suspect at a casino this solution would make people draw their weapons. It should be a void hand and a redeal. The resolution we reached, proposed by the Prince of Gingia, as I understand it is, in future the decision will go to a "closed vote". This will be a secret vote where only those involved in the hand get a say. I've no idea how this will be workable in practice, but that is what the majority agreed.
The second vote, aimed at trying to stop games being frequently delayed by people wandering off mid-hand proposed a player being automatically folded if not in the room when it's their turn to act. Totally straightforward and the norm in tournament/casino poker. It makes so much sense I can't fathom why its even an issue. This proposal was easily defeated by 4-2 with no requirement for the seventh voter to vote. As this all took place before the game started, at the end of the vote, and it being an unsatisfactory outcome to me personally, to make a point about the stupidity of the result, which Killawatt had made personal - I'd proposed it, he said he'd voted No simply because I voted Yes - I went to the little boys room, delaying the start of the game and forcing home my point about unnecessary hold-ups being needlessly frustrating, but not taking any time out of the game in doing so (unlike when others wander off when the clock is ticking). This was met with vociferous incredulity by those who had just voted in favour of keeping these delays in the game. My unimpeachable saintly self was then accused of a lack of respect by weasely Killawatt who seconds before was voting against my proposal because I was proposing it. There are wind-ups and there are antagonistic onslaughts!!!
Once the game was finally under way, and I assume, as the incorrecticity of the No vote (or should that be the Yes To Needless Delays vote) became clearer, the No voters seemed to move towards some sort of conciliation. A position was belatedly proposed by Dunderfunk to automatically fold someone who was not "within shouting distance" (why this is an improvement on 'at the table' or 'in the room' wasn't made clear). In practice this means that we can now scream upstairs to the bathroom 'what are you doing, check, raise or fold?' and the reply will be 'dunno, not seen my cards, but I'm in shouting range so can't be folded'.
For £%&@'s sake!!!
And so to the even less joyous part of the evening, the effing cairds. Your Sulking Narrator won the first hand of the night/season, taking an early Championship lead in the process. One was not slow to point this out or milk it. But before long 'Aces' Dunderfunk was out of the blocks with pocket rockets, later getting another pair of them for the only two of the evening. This caused me to propose another new rule banning long sleeves at the PP$.
The blinds went up a lot quicker than the Dealer chip went round, and all present made it to the Munchy Break. Lubrication was provided by a round of old skool JagerBombz, some SexBombz, an abominable Bonfire bomb with Melon involved and Bomb of the moment, the Bomb Marley.
Petawatt & GingaRadge survived all-ins, the latter's involving a tussle with your Unlucky Scribe. The Ginga Prince raised all-in making the cost of the hand 1250. With 1320 left I found myself believing I was ahead, around 70-30 it transpired, but fearing I'd take a doing when the board was dealt. I folded my pocket hooks, showed my cards, as did the Prince, to find all my suspicions come to fruition. If I'd done the 'right' thing, I'd have been on the phone to the Poker Polis making accusations of assault as he (would have) hit a straight on the river.
From leading the Championship, I was now in a bit of chip strife. An A-Q required the pushing of my remaining chippage. Dunderfunk (7-7) and GingaRadge (A-low) called, checked me down and a 7 on the river displayed my inability to win from ahead or behind. Yippee, another season of whinging blogposts await.
Bottleneck's challenged expired in the next two hands. Firstly his K-J couldn't overcome another pair of 7's, this time held by the Ginger Prince. With A-K as compensation immediately afterwards, Bottleneck found himself all over Q-hi Killawatt, but a Q-hi straight royal flush later, Boaby was left blinking moistly into the middle distance. His situation was compunded as Killawatt was next to make for the exit when his 6-6 was crushed by GingaRadge's A-K.
Reigning champ The Bonfire had been busy accumulating a nice stack. All-in with a Q-9 v Petawatt's A-10, a Q on the board doubled him up. But he was soon decimated in a 3-way stramash. Petawatt with the lowest stack was all-in with Big Slick. Dunderfunk had A-9 clubs and the Champ pinned his hopes on A-5 diamonds. Nothing came, Petawatt making good, Dunderfunk consolidating and The Bonfire fizzling to mere embers. He was finally snuffed out when his Q-2 hearts found itself up against the K-4 hearts of Dunderfunkus. Fourth position for The Bonfire.
With three chancers left, Dunderfunk had the lead with Petawatt and GingaRadge about equal. Petawatt survived two all-in's in a row, the records only noting the details of his K-7 suited hitting running cards for a flush against Dunderfunk's K-Q.
Dunderfunk took his leave in 3rd place. With a K-9 v A-6 of GingaStinga, a 9 arrived swinging the hand one way before an A on the river redressed the balance and made it cash-on-the-table time.
In one of the most boring heads-ups of recent times, eventually we reached a conclusion when Petawatt's 7-9 diamonds flushed to romp off with the match against GingaRadge's K-Q.
1. Petawatt
2. GingaOobs
3. Aces Dunkin
4. Last Years Champ
5. Sillywatt
6. Bottleneck
7. The One True 2014 Champion Elect of Poker
Next game Saturday 15th Feb.
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