2012 Championship Game Report - Saturday 5th January

What else needs said?

GingaRadge is the 2012 PP$ Champion after he held off the challenge of The Doctor & Killawatt at the C&FW Services Colosseum on Saturday 5th January. He made sure of the title by not just outlasting both challengers, but scooping the whole shebang sealing a win in the game on the night itself. Two trophies for the price of one!!! Mrs Radge will be delighted!!!

The match was in disarray as kick off approached. The Baptist pulled out as someone somewhere was paying him money to do something, thus cutting the traditional 10 player game down to 9. Wee Rambo was in doubt due to a bout of lurgy and then Dunderfunk called off due to a flush of the plague that intermittently seeps out of Gorgie into other parts of Edinburgh. Seven players in the Tenner Game???

In haste I made a call and raised The Bonfire from his domestic duties and into the white heat of the PP$ decider taking us back up to 8. Then after shaping my special poker whiskers I made a call to the host to say I was on my way to be told that both Dunderfunk and Wee Rambo were present and champing at the bit to get underway. Whoopee, we were back up to the magical 10.

A round of Bucks Fizz Bombs for the fatties with Lychee & Champers or Lychee & Energy (as yet unnamed Bombs) for those on a diet, excitement levels were raised to fever pitch as Petawatt drew the Jack, kicked off the dealing duties and we were underway.

PP$ - Now even more Gingery

There was some early chip nicking by Dunderfunk & the GingaPrince whilst the stacks of title hopefuls Killawatt & The Doctor began to shorten. I joined the latter as once again my gentemanly card playing got rottweilered by the God's of Poker who still won't tell me what I've done to upset them so much. Holding 88 and with a flop of 3-2-3 I was faced with a decent raise by Petawatt. Re-raising about 2.5x and 30% or so of my chips intending to attempt to scare off anything less than 2's, 3's or A's, he thought for a while and re-raised the pot again which obviously meant I quickly folded my middling pair. He showed AA. First time they're dealt all night, I get 8's in the same hand and it's none other than the man I'm up against for the wooden spoon who gets them. I huffily scolded his congratulators. Although he played them well under The Gentleman's onslaught and they weren't the nuts, they were the best cards and they did hold up (when an unrequested rabbit chase was quickly delivered).

In the main there was enough cageyness to keep everyone in. Those with shrinking stacks shutting up shop to keep what they had left with the bigger piles happy to sit and wait. This continued to and beyond the break, but eventually the carnage had to begin. The flames of the ensuing carnage were stoked somewhat with the addition of the new favourite tipple of the Bomb Bros, the Crazy Mofo Bomb containing Absinthe & Champagne. Ya dancer.

The first faller was one time 2012 contender, the Sea Cock. Having little option but to back an AQ suited he locked horns with the GingaRadge who'd tripped 9's on the flop. The turn gave Sea Cock a flush draw, but he missed and was left with more time than the rest of us to plot his assault on the 2013 Championship.

The end of Killawatts season

The Doctor was next to take the all-in challenge. His KK was called by GingaRadge who, with 22, had a brave but futile stab at knocking out a title rival there and then. Instead it was a double up and The Dr was back in the match and the title.

Instead it was the other contender, Killawatt who exited in 9th place, relinquishing his dreams of a 6th PP$ crown. Ahead with 99 when the cards were turned over pre-flop, The Bonfire had called him, but two 10's on the flop to go with the A-10 in The Bonfire's hand had Killawatt on Bomb making duties for the rest of the evening. It was quite a supine departure from a player whose high pitched emittances are usually so clear after anything approaching an unlucky beat they can be easily heard by traffic on the bypass. But the poker fire that used to burn so deeply within his paunch seems to have taken a dousing after his recent domination of the PP$. Maybe a tad harsh on someone with three wins, but nowhere anywhere does it say I have to be scrupulously fair.

8th place and the wooden spoon for 2012 was reserved for your humble narrator. Unusually I wasn't beaten from behind, instead I avoided any glimmer of good fortune by pushing my J-10 against the KQ of GingaRadge. He hit a Q straight away and I was left to aid Killawatt on the Bombs.

Wee Rambo left in 7th. Since arriving in the PP$ he's made great progress. Aware of odd's, not lacking in bravery he's been in contention more than his fair share of times. There's a but coming though isn't there??? But. His exit on Saturday is one of those bitch slaps money just canny buy. Delighted to see his AK against Petawatt's A3, once Petawatt had made his low straight Wee Rambo was left trying to work out how the heck that had come about. Only experience can make your logical, theoretical reasonings seem like a load of baloney. Once he's had a real life shafting with all the guid hands we'll see what sort of player comes out the other end. Unfortunately we all have to go through it.

Somewhat surprisingly, having had few chips or winning hands all night, Bottleneck was still in contention. Immediately after the exit of Wee Rambo, he found himself all-in v The Doctor and managed to double up. So it was The Bonfire who fell out of the game in 6th. With the flop and the river out his 66 was still ahead of GingaRadge's A8. The river was an 8 and the Radge marched on.

But Bottlenecks's time came next. Low on chips he decided a K2 was his best shot and came up against A8. By the time his K came on the river, it'd been made redundant by the A on the flop and Bottleneck's 2012 season was over.

Futile attempts to escape a nickname

Originally his 'Bottleneck' moniker was supremely apt, however for a few years now it has been completely unrelated to his play. Other extreme examples of delayism are much more regularly on display. It would be rude to name names of course so Petawatt, The Doctor and Sea Cock shall remain nameless. And yet. And yet. Season after season I bang my head off the table in frustration as these unnamed delayers appear to undergo mid-match lobotomies. Unable to know when it's their turn to deal, to play, or how much it is to play when you get them that far, for one game, I imbibe a Bomb or two more than is conducive to knowing it's my turn and in the face of all logic the table, including some of those I've refused to name had the cheek, nay temerity (or as Cartman might say, temeritaah), to insist on the shifting of the name Bottleneck onto your humble scribe. I am famously difficult to wind up and have let this scurrilous group idiocy wash over me without notice. Disgrace.

Where were we? Aha, onto 4th place. While the whole shire knows Bottleneck lacks an endgame, the same is increasingly apparent with Petawatt. The main difference is Petawatt will often make it to the last two or three in a 7-8 player game and it was in 4th position he alighted here. After The Doctor had doubled up with a J-10 that saw JJxxx10 come out on the board, Dunderfunk had a major double up that floored Petawart (that's a pure typo I've decided to keep). His Q9 poo'd on Petawatt's A-10 making the latter decide to push blind next hand with as it turned out an 8-2 off suit that was beaten to a pulp by an A-10 pre-flop and AAA post flop. 9th place finisher Killawatt then bent the ear about playing for position when 4 players are left and there's a prize for 3rd etc refinding the compassionate style of his which we all know, love and frequently belittle and/or are subjected to.

So we were down to three and the Championship was still undecided. GingaRadge was in the lead in every way (chips, on the night, championship etc) whilst the Doctor was bringing up the rear (fnarr as they say where he comes from). In amongst it was the man from Corstorphine who I was geeing up as a smasher of championship dreams for someone.

Then came call of the night doubling up as call of the whole goddang season. As I whirred the words 'no pressure' around the room first to act GingaRadge was raised big by the Doctor holding a K6 suited. After a good deal of thought Gingle Berries decided to have a look and was delighted to see what his K-10 suited was up against. A great raise, a great call and the Championship leaders luck held as he hit a full house. The Doctor was out in third with 20 jungle tokens in his back pocket to soften the blow and the GingaStinga was the new champion.

The news trickles through to Gingaland

The match itself was decided soon after in the most typical of circumstances. The new Champ went all the way with 22 (sooo not like him readers) against Dunderfunk's K-10 suited and when nothing was revealed to help either of them meaning the ducks held up, the 2012 champion could finally relax and enjoy the not unsubstantial trappings of his new title - Championship Trophy, Championship Match Trophy and 100 shekels. The Corstorphinite left with 30 jungle tokens that should be put straight towards vaccine's for his offspring from the terrible Gorgie Plague.

New game soon, keep an eye on your emails and I'll see you there.

Result

1. GingaRadge
2. Dunderfunk
3. The Doctor
4. Petawatt
5. Bottleneck
6. The Bonfire
7. Wee Rambo
8. The One True Gentleman of Poker
9. Killawatt
10. Sea Cock

Apologies: The Damage (no direct Connecticut to Penicuik bus service). The Baptist (arbeit macht frei). Dunderfunk (apologies withdrawn due to actual attendance).