2011 Championship Game Result

A 'fool array' of PP$ talent was on display with a capacity turnout at the C&FW Services Ltd Colosseum (formerly Kev's Colosseum) on Saturday night. The hostess ran away with it again pocketing two trophies and the top prize of 100 golden shekels. Result:

Kevin (Smith) & the Trophy (wife)

1. Killawatt
2. The Raiser
3. Bottleneck
4. Petawatt
5. The Buoy
6. GingaStinga
7. The Professor
8. Da Blouse
9. The Doctor
10. Wee Rambo

Before the hostilities commenced

The match started on time at 20.45ish. With little room to manoeuvre both physically and metaphorically, the early period of the game elapsed without too much in the way of excitement. There was little room to bluff with ten sharks present and the first raiser with decent cards tended to take it down. Petawatt did inject a flurry of excitement when he won two hands in a row with KoJak. Not content with such a subtle enhancement of the evening, he then proceeded to pour two 'shots' of JagerBomb, for, I have just realised, the players that subsequently finished 1st & 2nd!!! Having scaled back the measures on complaint from the recipients to a more sensible level, Petawatt proceeded to make himself a pint of the stuff. One to watch.

An early pattern surfaced when it emerged that three or four players weren't in a position to play too long into the Sabbath. One of this faction, Wee Rambo uncovered this truth going hard at Da Blouse with decent cards, Da Blouse puffing 'ach well, I'll get brownie points if I go home now' and calling. This signalled the warning that some players were already in different gears. The breaching of Wee Rambo's hull took place at this point and he began to sink slowly and inexorably towards the bottom and tenth place. Behaviouralists are showing concern with Wee Rambo. After bursting onto the PP$ scene with impeccable cards and chat, his fragile confidence deflates at the first sign of anything these days. Chin up squire, when you're at rock bottom, there's only one direction left to travel!!!

2010 Champion, Dr 'Doc' The Doctor was ecstatic at Wee Rambo's departure. Habitually keeping Last Place warm for the bulk of 2011, it now meant that 2nd Last was his for the taking and take it he did after the Munchy Break when he took part in an 'All-in frenzy' involving Bottleneck, GingaStinga & Megawatt (if memory serves correctly).  J-J wasn't enough in that bitchfight. The Doctor duly retreated to shuffling and dealing duties. The gentleman of the table for sure. Chin up squire, when you're at rock bottom, there's only one direction left to travel!!!!

Is there an echo in here or somefink?

The Bonnie Princess over the water

During the break PP$ Founding member The Damage appeared through the ether from Merca (c) G.W.Bush, to hover wistfully at the table for a short period, holding what looked suspiciously like a Baby. So there was some talk of pacifiers and daipers before Daddys Little Princess commenced defecating, spewing and demanding food, hastening his spectral departure.

Back in Cairdsville, Midlothian, Petawatt initially built a decent pile of 50's to take the early lead. In time they seeped elsewhere in the table, then Killawatt began to steadily accumulate some phallic stacks. This meant there still wasn't much loose change sloshing about and it soon began to tell as chipstacks generally dwindled and big decisions began to be made automatically.

Next out was Da Blouse (claiming to be giving the blouse a final public display before torching it. Hopefully his next blouse is also a blouse and not a shirt or we may well be calling another meeting of the New Nickname Committee which has recently been rather overworked. Hopefully we can get some photo's of the arson here with him burning his blouse (geddit?)). Seasoned observers felt little sympathy as his King-hi straight met Killa's Ace-hi straight. Andy Andy'd!!! One of the truly great sentences.

The Professor, just missing out on a coveted Annual Table League Position by coming up one attendance short took his leave in 7th place, another victim of the Bridge Street Butcher. A-2 was OK pre-flop, but a J-high flop helped Killawatt's J-7 and The Prof was sausages.

Doubledeath next when GingaStinga (Q-7) & The Buoy (K-10) piled the last of their chips into a pot. The Butcher of Bridge Street (K-J) swithered, before his macabre lust for blood hastened his participation. His cleaver fell sickeningly on the necks of two more victims, The Buoy finishing 5th due to having more chips to donate in the hand. And then there were 4.

Baubles & Bawbees were now placed on the table to strike dismay into the heart of the next man out. Killa/Butcher/Hostess/Champion Elect was by now barely visible behind his (/her?) ill gotten gains meaning a  pathetic scratching about by the remaining poker paupers. Petawatt (Q-Q) had little choice but to dive in against The Raiser holding a somewhat ironic K-J which apologetically came from behind to dump Petawatt out in the harshest position in such a big money game. At least solace could be sought that his bloodthirsty sibling hadn't dealt the final blow.

This left Bottleneck with about 1200-1800, The Raiser 3000-3500 and Killawatt the rest (c16k). Bottleneck couldnt last long, the by now infamous lack of an EndGame being sweetened a little with 20 cybershekels in compensation as he exited with 8-9 which hit nothing against Killa's J-7 which Andy'd itself into a Full Hoose.

Roll up, roll up for the biggest game of the year

Heads up was a Neo v Manuel mash-up scenario with me as your friendly spanish waiter (que???). First hand, me Big with J-3 got pot re-raised & folded. Next hand I folded 10-3 on the Small, Killa not even having to look at his cards which forced me into an 'all-in blind' next hand versus a 'call blind' from Keanu. The Raisers 9-7 turned into 2pair, 9-9-7-7, but this was royally soiled by KingKilla's A-8 which made like Hunter S Thompson and got all trippy on me.

In summation, a Killawatt victory was both deserved and apt. I shall add the Final Table in due course, but as from now, we're all level again and I suspect 2012 is finally going to be my year.

We usually get another game organised before the end of Jan to kick off the new league campaign, so if the Rare Books Arena & Kev's Colosseum (naming rights purchased for one game only) staff can meet for a Facilities Committee Meeting asap to get something organised, hopefully I'll see most of you again soon.



Apologies: The Damage (Joined the Preisthood), Nico (probably back in France), Liam (Still hurting), Ricketts (Missing Presumed Dead), Callous Callis (On the run), BeefRazor (Eating pizza), Paul (Still barred).